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It's a bit early, but I got inspired and I think I'll forget if I don't post it now. (Yes, I should have been doing homework).

"We're hear to stop you Voldedork!"
"u fool," Voldimort said, "don't u realize u brought the horcruxes to me?"
Ron said something of no help and threw the golden snitch at Voldimort. Silly jock.
"We studied history," Hermeone said. "Expellus faecum!" she said, pointing to the horcruxes.
"Not the shit dimension!" Voldimort said.
"That's write!" Harry said, "A fate worse than death for the death eatter!"
The trio pointed their wands at Voltimort and shouted "Expellus faecum!"
Voltimord screamed.

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And Ron made them honary weasleys and Hermieony told Harry that being a cop feeds the power of the police state. Harry realized he was a power fantasy and vanished into thin air. Also Hufflepuff won the housecup the next three years and it wasn't for reasons like "Has a name that starts with an H" but no one cared.

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